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Acid-tongued Liam is the new Wilde

Oasis star Liam Gallagher has been voted one of Britain's greatest wits.

It means the singer proudly takes his place alongside the likes of Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde.

Boozy rocker Liam 34, grabbed 10th place in the wit list for his put-downs of fellow celebs. He once said of Victoria Beckham, 33: "She can't even chew gum and walk in a straight line, let alone write a book."

At No1 is author Oscar Wilde, thanks to such quips as: "I can resist everything except temptation."

Comic Spike Milligan is second, having come up with gems like: "I don't mind dying - I just don't want to be there when it happens."

And third is actor and telly star Stephen Fry, 49, who played Wilde in the 1997 movie of that name. Others to make the list include Top Gear Host Jeremy Clarkson, 47, comic Paul Merton, 50, and outspoken football boss Brian Clough.

There are no women in the Top 10 and that is because men are naturally wittier, according to the research for TV channel Dave.

The highest-ranking woman was Margaret Thatcher, 82, in 12th spot thanks to barbs such as: "Being powerfull is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."

Steven North, head of Dave, said: "Wit is a staple of life in Britain that is essential in dealing with ups and downs."

Top 10 Brit Wits

01. Oscar Wilde: Said on his deathbed: "Either those curtains go or I do."

02. Spike Milligan: "All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy"

03. Stephen Fry: "It is a cliche that most cliches are true. But then, like most cliches, that cliche is untrue."

04. Jeremy Clarkson: On the Alfa Romeo: "You cannot be a true petrolhead until you have owned one - it's like having really great sex that leaves you with an embaressing itch."

05. Sir Winston Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly. And tomorrow morning I will be sober, but you will still be ugly."

06. Paul Merton: "I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated they have to be identified by their dental records. But if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"

07. Noel Coward: "Wit ought to be a glorious treat, like caviar. Never spread it about like marmalade."

08. William Shakespeare: "Maids want nothing but husbands, and when they have them, they want everything."

09. Brian Clough: "I wou;dn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one."

10. Liam Gallagher: Said of Victoria Beckham: "She can't even chew gum and walk in a straight line, let alone write a book."

Source: Daily Star

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