Noel Gallagher is a huge fan of The Smiths – but his love of Morrissey doesn’t extend as far as wearing a hearing aid in his honour.
The former Ooasis star has been for a brain scan as doctors try to get to the bottom of the constant ringing in his ears.
Funnily enough, they told him it could be down to playing a guitar at ear-shatteringly loud volume for the best part of 20 years.
So well done, Harley Street doctors — give yourselves a pat on the back for that diagnosis.
In all seriousness, though — it can be a nasty one.
The Who’s Pete Townshend suffers from tinnitus, as does Coldplay’s Chris Martin.
Speaking on the one and only Andy Goldstien'ss TalkSport show, he explained: “I went for a brain scan. They did find it!
“I’ve got bizarre ringing in my ears. I think it’s just through playing guitar for the last 20 years so I had to sit in a tube in the hospital.
“It’s an accumulation of many things but I’ve had a bloody great time doing it all and if I do eventually die of brain disease it will have been worth it.
“The funny thing is they give you these headphones and I chose classical music.
“It came on and it was the exact music I play to my little kid when he goes to bed. I was in there for 25 minutes.
“It was horrible. I know what the results will be — ‘There is nothing wrong with you’. It’s another way of fleecing money out of you.”
Noel had the hump on Goldstein’s show the other week about the cost of dental hygienists. It sounds more like Saga Radio.
Good old Goldstein, a friend of the column, chipped in with his own story about his bad back.
Noel poked fun at him and sidekick Jason Cundy, calling them the Frank Lampard and Stevie Gerrard of broadcasting.
Andy asked who the singer would rather be and Noel said: “Lampard or Gerrard? Lampard’s got the better bird.”
Christine Bleakley's got her own money as well — which would appeal to Mr Gallagher and his purse strings...
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