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Noel Gallagher: 15 Funniest Moments From His Q&A














Noel Gallagher announced his musical comeback in a Facebook Q&A today (October 13), revealing a new album, single and 2015 arena tour.

However, the real highlight of the Q&A wasn't the news, it was the return of Noel's one-liners and dry wit. Here are 15 of his best moments:

1. On whether he will release an autobiography...
"If I've ever got literally no f**king money left and nothing better to do. But I struggle to write texts. Are you from a publishing company? Because I will do it for £750,000."

2. On Liam's criticism of the Definitely Maybe reissue...
"I bet he wasn't saying that when he was putting the cheque in the bank."

3. On the Definitely Maybe reissue...
"I'm sorry to say this you guys [the fans], but it's money for old f**king rope."

4. On what he feels proud about...
"Getting away with reissuing Definitely Maybe for the fourth time, I'm pretty proud of that. Gotta be proud of that right."

5. On what he does on an ordinary day...
"What is there to do? There's f**k all to do. What do you do? There's nothing to do when you get to my age. Life is pretty empty without football. I've just been making s**t up these last three months. I go to the shops."

6. On his favourite TV shows...
"Anything with sharks in. There was a thing called The Nazis' Prehistoric Creatures. Who doesn't want to watch a show like that? They were trying to breed dinosaurs. Even if it's b*llocks, you're duty bound to watch it. They were trying to breed dinosaurs? Were they f**k.

"There was a thing on last night about a guy trying to unlock the mysteries of JFK's assassination. Did anyone watch that? Do you know who shot him? A secret service guy by accident. That was on Channel 5. F**king nonsense."

7. On what the album was nearly called...
"Dark Side of The Room. Wheat is Murder."

8. On the single 'In The Heat of the Moment'...
"Is it great? Of course it is. What does it mean? It don't meant anything."

9. On new sounds on the album...
"It's got saxaphone solos on it. Don't think of Spandau Ballet. You're going to love it."

10. On a fan who thanks him for writing 'Champagne Supernova', 'Live Forever' and 'Don't Look Back in Anger'...
"I take it from that, 1995 onwards, you can take it or leave it."

11. On the internet...
"It spoils it for fans now that fans know everything that's going on. You're tweeting sh*te and instagramming this. If there's a constant update of what you've done, it's just boring.

"When I was growing up, I didn't know what The Smiths were doing one year to the next and you didn't want to know. The first thing you knew was there was a press release and the album was coming out.

"For all the great things that the internet has given us, it's destroyed the mystery."

12. On attending Glastonbury this year...
"I was there all three days this year and I didn't see a single f**king band, I watched it all on iPlayer when I got home. It was great."

13. On Metallica's headline set...
"I clapped Lars on stage, but as much as I love Lars, it dawned on me after 30 seconds, 'F**k, this is heavy metal. What the f**k are you doing here'. And I went off to some acid house tent to relive my youth."

14. On his daughter's anger at him turning down the chance to judge The X Factor...
"She will say to me, 'That could have been you slagging him off'. I don't think she'll ever forgive me. I'm sure I'll have to go to a psychiatrist meeting when she's 34 about it."

15. On the instruments he plays on his new album...
"The guitar, the bass, various keyboards, the tambourine, the washboard, the electric kazoo, the triangle, the wineglasses, the electric kettle and you know the bathtub with the thing in it. That didn't make the final cut, but I tried it."

Noel Gallagher's Chasing Yesterday is released on March 2. The first single off the record is released on November 17.

Source: www.digitalspy.co.uk

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